just kiss me

my "things that i love" list grew today.

i love

chairs that are too big for my feet to touch the ground

pocketful of sunshine

after making my royal blog decree (see the last post), i was tempted to list my top 10 most played songs on my ipod and interpret what that means about me.
but i decided against this after i realized many of these songs are slightly embarrassing and could possibly reveal more about my character than i wish people to know.

instead, i have decided to rant about my creepiness. wait--let's put that in quotations. "creepiness." i say it in quotations because i personally do not think i am creepy. but it has come to my attention that other people might get the creepy drift coming from me. be aware, however, that this realization has not come suddenly. i have been aware of people's curiosity towards my obsessions for quite some time now, but never felt encouraged to address it until last night.
you see, last night i was talking with one of my avid fans: my mother. i was giving her the usual update on my college life, and told her about a job i recently got working at the library. i explained that i was surprised i even got the job in the first place because half the time i was explaining to my supervisors my obsession with serial killers.

one of the people interviewing me said, "you mean, like jack the ripper?"
and my hand flew to my heart and i exclaimed, "oh yes, he's one of my favorites!"

i never would have given that a second thought, but my mom burst out laughing and said i was weird. (speaking of which, "weird" is a strange word. i think it means something different to everyone who uses it.)

serial killers! vampires! gothic horror and medieval torture! voodoo, paganism, cannibals and witchcraft! you name it, i've either read, watched or listened to it. as louise durham, the infamous AP english teacher at my high school would say, i have a "fascination with the abomination."
i don't know why i get such a kick out of reading about john wayne gacy the "killer clown" whose victims were little boys. or vlad tepes III, the inspiration of dracula who loved to impale his not-so-loyal subjects.
but while we're on the subject of dracula, let's discuss my recent loss of interest in vampires. one word/book: twilight.
LAMEness to the maximum.
real vampires are NOT like edward cullen, i tell you that much.

but back to the point: what i tell people over and over, is that i'm "only creepy on the inside." i'm not like one of those crazies who go walzing around town in a black trench coat or has an ugly emo haircut.

so even though my favorite movies include man-eating plants and murderous demons, i am a normal person. i promise.
in fact, i'm scared of things: dinosaus, aliens, bears, baldness, and loving someone who doesn't love me back. (gone with the wind? i cried like a baby. my worst fear.)

but i only appreciate tasteful horror, murder and superstition. for example, tim burton. genius. but hardcore punk, scream-o gothic heavy metal music? nooooo, sir.

not in nottingham

royal blog decree:
i, camille, do hereby proclaim that every blog post from here on out shall be the title of a song.

happiness

today, the number of "best compliments i have ever received in my life" rose to three.
yes, i have heard a total of three compliments that have pretty much changed my life.

or, at least made me really, really happy.

compliment #1:
once, when i was a young child of 14, i was having a conversation with a sweet old man in my neighborhood. he is what my sister and i call a "rosebud"--an extremely kind, grandpa-like old person who you just want to hug. "rosebuds" are wise, happy, and always caring.
this particular "rosebud" and i were having a typical how-are-you-doing-these-days conversation, when he smiled at me and almost got teary eyed.
"you make me wish i had more sons."

... can you say, precious?
i almost said "you make me wish you had more sons!"
but instead, i just blushed and stood slack-jawed.

compliment #2
when i am bored at my parents house i sit myself at the piano and play pretty much every single scrap of sheet music i can get my hands on. usually i rotate between a book of classical pieces and a collection of disney solos.
on one particular day last summer i was playing from the disney book ("part of your world," from the little mermaid).
my mom was on the phone in the kitchen. when she hung up, she came in to me and said the friend she had been talking to had commented on my music in the background.
"that's a beautiful CD you're listening to."

i was so happy... mostly because whenever i play the piano, my sister says something like "if you play that song one more time i'm going to kill you."

it's too bad that my mom replied by saying, "CD? oh, that's just camille." and then she laughed.

compliment #3
today i was talking with a friend in one of my classes. i was telling him that i thought one of his good friends was a really cute guy, but way out of my league.
DISCLAIMER: i promise and swear on my life i was not fishing for compliments. i despise it when people act overly humble just to demand praise from others. i was merely stating a fact. this particular guy is much more talented, attractive, and likable than me: thus he is out of my league.
anyway, his friend just looked at me and said, "um, have you looked in the mirror lately? no one is out of your league."

but then again, maybe it's just because my hair was straightened today. my unfortunately natural curly locks would have never gotten such praise.

nonetheless, i feel very
*´¨)
¸.·´¸.·*´¨) ¸.·*¨)
(¸.·´ (¸.·´ happy inside.