wild child

i am so excited for this movie. it was always one of my favorite books.
but since i have such high expectations, i'll probably end up hating it.

(and in case you were wondering, i accidentally made a typo up above and said "sexpectations." i fixed it, but now i'm thinking i should have just left it.)


smile like you mean it

i discovered the most amusing website in the entire world.

i was reading an interesting article from the deseret news about a mom who likes to "pick up" other moms. she meets random women, asks for their number, and then they hang out. however, the most interesting part was not the story itself, but the advertisement on the right side.
"Interracial Dating," it said.
of course, i had to investigate. normally i never click on ads, but this time i had to make an exception. i was greeted by the following:
Interracial Dating Central: Where it's OK to color outside the lines...
Are you single and open to dating people from another race? Then join thousands of members looking for love at Interracial Dating Central, where we specialize in interracial dating services.

lauren and i decided to browse the profiles.

meet cathleen!
and homesteader!

the profiles were quality.

wadeva says, "I am a black guy, and I want to meet a nice lady who I can be with in a long term relationship. I love to have sex but not all the time..."

MariyamF says, "I am... MATERIALISTIC! Money does buy happiness! Complete B-IOTCH! DesMoineaux Demeanor... Controlling, demanding, and impatient..."

wow. that's all there is to say. check it out.


drew troutner...

... is a gaywad.

and he no longer has a girlfriend.

Are You In?

So I have this friend. We shall call her Ellimac. One day her friend Werd came over to her apartment and borrowed her laptop to put all of his brackets in for March Madness, but unfortunately, he forgot to log out of all of his accounts, and Ellimac went crazy and edited all of his info on Facebook to show everyone else in the world how much he loved her. Werd didn't really mind though, he thought it was kind of funny. Even still, his profile info is just the way that she put it.

Well, a couple of days later, Werd was reading a blog by one of his friends. She had a very interesting post, and he decided to comment on it. After he posted his comment though, he realized that his account wasn't signed in, but it was in fact Ellimac's! Werd was all of a sudden thinking of all of the possible things that he could do with this newfound freedom. He could make life toally miserable for Ellimac, but he decided not to because he wasn't that cruel. However, Werd couldn't let a perfect opportunity like this go to waste. He told Ellimac that he was going to get back at her somehow, and this seemed fairly appropriate. He knew how much she liked photo collages on people's blog posts, so enjoy the pictures. They are amazing. I had some REALLY good ones, but I didn't want to really embarrass anyone (read: Ellimac)
This is a sexy stache.
This is a midget wrestler.
This is a gigantic David Beckham in his underwear.
This is an alpaca.

This is your ridiculously good-looking boyfriend (and you looking on in disgust).
ditto ditto.
This is your next boyfriend because you didn't like your old one.

This is Grandpa Schwinny.
He's kind of like Benjamin Button. Just not as.....promiscuous.

PS. Werd didn't delete anything that Ellimac did. Let's see who has the better sense of humor, shall we?


money maker

in light of the current economical "crisis," i have created my own stimulus plan.
this idea occurred to me when lauren made an interesting observation towards my slacking/lazy/indifferent tendencies.

i was taking my warm, clean laundry out of the dryer.
"well," i said, "i don't want to put these away right now. i guess i'll add them to the pile of clean clothes on my bed."
i walked to my room and dumped the clothes on my purple polka-dotted bed spread. there was already a build-up of a few days' worth of clean laundry.
"ah yes," said lauren. she laughed. "why even bother buying bed covers when you have clothes to cover you?"
it was then that i realized she was on to something. i decided to take immediate action and formulate a stimulus plan based on the multi-tasking nature of my clean laundry.

camille's stimulus plan
1. clean clothes are comfortable and sanitary. why not make use of their cozy qualities? just cover me with a couple of warm, fresh-out-of-the-dryer t-shirts and i'm ready to sleep. imagine: mothers tucking in their children with hoodies and socks rather than a comforter or sheets. the dual nature of laundry is perfect for sleeping purposes.

2. with the rise of "laundry bedding," people will no longer need to buy sheets for their beds. All the cotton mills and textile factories in the south will close down.

3. cleaner air will be a result of the demise of the southern factories. without threats of pollution or acid rain, the crops will thrive.

4. an overabundance of food in the south will cause them to sell it for a very cheap price to grocery stores and even to export it to other countries. food will be practically given away!

5. with the low costs of groceries, people will buy more. they will still be convinced that the economy is under fire, so when they see such low food prices they will want to stalk up.
"look, dear. creamed corn for only 5 cents a can! we'd better stock up. you never know when we won't be able to afford food."

6. this buying will start a cycle. the southern farmers will make so much money from their food sales, they will be able to buy more. their purchases will affect many companies, who in turn will also become rich and lower their prices as well.

7. people will be able to afford things and will buy more of everything. and voila: the economy is saved. now go do laundry.


hello. i am going to blatantly promote my other blog.
for those of you who don't know, i'm living in paris this fall with the university's study abroad program. our class has put together a blog to tell about our "goings-on." i recently posted this (below). but check out the blog for more cool stuff!

I confess; many of the things I am excited to experience in Paris are nothing out of the ordinary.

I want to walk down the street and eat a baguette.
I want to go to Disneyland Paris.
I want to eat my body weight in pastries.
I want to see a ton of French films.

But possibly most of all, I want to go to the catacombs.

I have been obsessed with serial killers, vampires (the cool,
real kind, not sparkling edward cullens), witchcraft, ghosts, and the gothic for my entire life. Walking through underground tunnels filled with skulls and bones would be a dream come true.

I would be in my element.

The catacombs (l'Ossuaire Municipal)
were created to stash all the dead that were overflowing churches and cemeteries. The bodies were spreading disease, so the government created the underground ossuary to store the dead and protect Parisians.
So let's go! Bones!

¸.·´¸.·*´¨) ¸.·*¨)
(¸.·´ (¸.·´ Camille

photos shamelessly stolen from google images.


the nicest kids in town

i want them.

hahah just kidding. i am actually not planning on having children for quite a few years, thank you very much. i can barely even handle the third graders i help with writing every monday at the elementary school. i am going to be a terrible mother, it's apparent.

but when i saw this boy i couldn't help but want him for my own. now, i command you to go here and be sure to click on:
Herein, a look at Arlo Weiner's wardrobe, in his own words.

and now, without further ado, my future child.

thanks to miss crowland for the inspiration.


bleeding love

this is the coolest thing ever. this is why REAL vampires are cool. not gaywad sparkly men. *cough*edwardcullen*cough*


grace of god go i

i'm moving.

and i am so excited.

to north carolina.

lauren and i are buying this house

with the sunken treasure we find.

on weekends we'll vacation in new york and walk around until we get picked up by the cash cab.


another one bites the dust


Re*volt"ing\, a. Causing abhorrence mixed with disgust; exciting extreme repugnance; loathsome; twilight.

i have a deep hatred for all things twilight. in fact, i feel justified in my detestation because i read all three books, and as of a few minutes ago, i have seen the movie as well. i have come to know the twilight series for what it truly is: CRAP.

first of all, let me explain why i truly despise that hateful character bella swan. she is immature, an idiot, a drama queen, unrealistic, and in the movie has only two personalities: dull and extremely dull. bella is the worst character in the literary world. even villians in other novels have better qualities. at least voldemort is an aspiring individual (evil aspirations are aspirations nonetheless), the white witch is intelligent, and even hannibal lecter appreciates a cultured lifestyle. but bella is none of these things. in the movie she can't even say a coherent sentence because either the actress is terrible or her stupidity is interfering with her words (i bet it's both). she stutters and babbles waaaay too much.

aside from distasteful bella, stephanie meyers just cannot write. at. all.

each sequential edward book/movie gets exponentially worse and the entire concept is now ruined.

vampires used to be cool. they used to be scary and fascinating. now, thanks to steph meyers, they are glorified, sparkly-diamond boys.

i hear there is going to be a new director for the next twilight film. i plan on sending them the following formal complaint:

dear person who is about to lose their reputation as a filmmaker,

run away from this project. run far, far away.

however, if the current effects of the economy are forcing you to take on this movie in order to provide bread for your family, then i suggest you take the following advice into consideration:

1. let the crouching-tiger-hidden-dragon-style running stay in asian films.

2. get a new actress to freaking replace bella swan.

3. also get a new actor for jacob. i thought he was supposed to be attractive?

4. no more random close-ups of eyes and lips. it's not seductive, meaningful, or classy. it's distracting and lame.

5. include at least ONE scene in which someone is HAPPY.

6. change edward's dialogue so he doesn't sound like a creepy stalker. when he told bella he felt "protective" of her and liked "watching her sleep", his face looked more like he wanted to slice her open and display her body organs in glass jars on a shelf. (at least, that's what i assume a creepy stalker would do to their victim)

7. don't expect me to see it unless i am forced to by brainwashing terrorists who bind me to a chair and use bent paperclips to hold my eyelids open.




hate this and i'll love you

today started off as a good day.

i hummed at work
i read something fascinating
i laughed at a funny blog
i had a good, long talk with an excellent friend


about five hours ago.

since then i have been in the worst mood ever. in an effort to get to the bottom of my crankiness, i am going to dissect the events of the day. hopefully then i will discover the source of my sourness.

bad thing #1
i was forced to play settlers of catan.
i hate that game.
call me glee-killer.

even more bad thing #2
my life feels stagnant. until i move to paris this fall, i feel like i have no reason to live.

another bad thing #3
i need to lose ten pounds. i'm trying not to pull the "i'm too fat" card, honestly. but it's getting to the point where i just feel really gross. i need more exercise. richard simmons, come rescue me!

worse thing #4
this was the quote of the day on the imdb website. when i read it, i cried inside and mourned the loss of quality film these days.
East High is a place where teachers encouraged us to break the status quo and define ourselves as we choose.
(troy bolton, high school musical 3)
i will go and watch gone with the wind now to recover from this sorry excuse for a movie.

terrible thing #5
i have no clean clothes.

awful thing #6
now i can't sleep. it is 3 am.

awful-est thing #7
i realized that highly inappropriate things that shouldn't make me laugh actually do.

thing #8
i drove my best friend cuh-razy today because i felt like an emotional roller coaster.

great. i've narrowed it down:
i am a glee-killing, out-of-shape, movie-hating, perverted insomniac who has no clean clothes and is rude to her best friend.

if you are feeling sad after reading this, go here to cheer yourself up.