let's go crazy

I remember very little of elementary school because I was always looking towards the future. I didn't pay attention to the life I was living then; I couldn't wait for the bigger and better things to come. One thing I do remember, however, is my weekly trip to the school psychologist. For some reason, my sixth grade teacher thought I had major mental problems. This resulted in my counseling sessions with Crystal every week. She would play games with me and ask me questions. The meetings were actually quite enjoyable. I was very aware of the fact that these little rendez-vous were causing me to miss the dreaded spelling test each week.
During one session Crystal asked me to draw a picture.
“Do you like to draw?” she asked me one day.
“Yeah,” I shrugged. She slid a blank white paper across the table to me. There's something magical about a perfectly white sheet of paper—it's just begging to be robbed of it's colorless virginity. Crystal passed me a small box of Crayola crayons, and I held them in my left hand while I absorbed the whiteness of the page with my eyes.
What should I draw? I evaluated my options. I have always loved to draw words, write letters in stylistic cursive or crazy shapes.
I could design my name, I thought. I sat in bliss with my crayons and white sheet. Hah! The rest of the class is taking a spelling test right now. I could hardly believe my luck. While my classmates were laboring over the monotonous routine of elementary school work, I got to sit in a quiet room with Crystal and play games while we talked. It almost wasn't fair.
I thought about it a little longer. It was almost too good to be true, I realized. I stopped grinning. I lifted my eyes from the innocent blank paper and looked at Crystal. Suddenly her kind, smiling face appeared to be hiding something.
This is a test! I concluded. I imagined Crystal taking my finished picture into some laboratory deep in an underground room of the elementary school. She looked through books and analyzed my drawings.
What if she decides there's nothing wrong with me? I wondered. I began to panic. If Crystal found that my picture proved me to be nothing more than a normal sixth grader, I would stop meeting with her. That would mean I would have to join the rest of the class in spelling every week! The horror! Instead of talking, games and coloring I would be slaving away in a classroom. I couldn't risk it. I yanked the black crayon out of the small box and began to scribble. I scribbled until the entire page was black. Then, I casually handed it over to Crystal.

How's that for psychotic?
“Hmm, I see,” Crystal said. Her forehead wrinkled as she bit her lip and looked worriedly at my masterpiece. She looked up at me and put a fake smile on her face.
“Our time is up, you can go back to class now,” she said. “Same time next week.”



another bag of bricks

a list of my favorite insulting names/words/phrases:

  • gaywad. i call everyone a gaywad. it is one of my favorite words. gaywad, gaywad, gaywad, gaywad, gaywad...
  • bodaggot.this is actually a word that i never use personally, but whenever my obnoxious brother gavin says it i laugh my head off.
  • "your face." this is probably the phrase i use the most. "your face" can be followed by a statement (is ugly, needs help, etc.), or can be accompanied with an insult you have just received. the result is a quick and efficient comeback. example:
insulter: "i don't like your sweater. it's furry and makes you look fat."
you: "your face is furry and makes you look fat."

"your face" can also be left as it is. example:

insulter: "i hate you."
you: "your face."
  • lame. the long a sound really emphasizes just how stupid something or someone is. it wouldn't be the same if it was a short a. that results in the name of a rather cute, cuddly and wooly farm creature.
  • stupid. stupid is a funny word, because there is no other word like it. it is such a strange combination of letters.
  • creature. calling someone a creature implies that they are inhuman and funny looking.


they'll soon discover

funny discoveries:

#1 one of those "have you seen me?" ads in the junk mail. look at this woman. poor jamie p... who does she remind you of?

yes, you guessed it! robert pattinson, a.k.a. edward cullen from the twilight movie.

i suppose that of all the men in the world to look like, ms. jamie should be glad she resembles the boy that most girls seem to be lusting after these days.

#2 i work at the BYU library. this means that i see a lot of books. thousands and thousands of books. every once in awhile i come across a particularly beautiful cover.

i am overjoyed because one of my coworkers told me about this site that pays tribute to all those ugly covers out there: judge a book by it's cover. i highly recommend it.

in the next few days i'll post pictures of some of the beautiful covers i've found.


the sound of silence

i will miss 2008.

zion national
park, vegas,
st. george,

mika, angels and
airwaves, the veronicas, three dog
night, jordin sparks, ABBA, utah symphony, david archuleta, boyz II men, good morning
maxfield/fictionist, journey, heart, cheaptrick

fulfilled life goal: skydiving

learned to love BYU

music videos, pizza, waveboarding, movie-watching, working with crazy people

saw a lot of weddings...

2008: made new friends, saw amazing things, learned more about the world, discovered a new me.