money maker

in light of the current economical "crisis," i have created my own stimulus plan.
this idea occurred to me when lauren made an interesting observation towards my slacking/lazy/indifferent tendencies.

i was taking my warm, clean laundry out of the dryer.
"well," i said, "i don't want to put these away right now. i guess i'll add them to the pile of clean clothes on my bed."
i walked to my room and dumped the clothes on my purple polka-dotted bed spread. there was already a build-up of a few days' worth of clean laundry.
"ah yes," said lauren. she laughed. "why even bother buying bed covers when you have clothes to cover you?"
it was then that i realized she was on to something. i decided to take immediate action and formulate a stimulus plan based on the multi-tasking nature of my clean laundry.

camille's stimulus plan

1. clean clothes are comfortable and sanitary. why not make use of their cozy qualities? just cover me with a couple of warm, fresh-out-of-the-dryer t-shirts and i'm ready to sleep. imagine: mothers tucking in their children with hoodies and socks rather than a comforter or sheets. the dual nature of laundry is perfect for sleeping purposes.

2. with the rise of "laundry bedding," people will no longer need to buy sheets for their beds. All the cotton mills and textile factories in the south will close down.

3. cleaner air will be a result of the demise of the southern factories. without threats of pollution or acid rain, the crops will thrive.

4. an overabundance of food in the south will cause them to sell it for a very cheap price to grocery stores and even to export it to other countries. food will be practically given away!

5. with the low costs of groceries, people will buy more. they will still be convinced that the economy is under fire, so when they see such low food prices they will want to stalk up.
"look, dear. creamed corn for only 5 cents a can! we'd better stock up. you never know when we won't be able to afford food."

6. this buying will start a cycle. the southern farmers will make so much money from their food sales, they will be able to buy more. their purchases will affect many companies, who in turn will also become rich and lower their prices as well.

7. people will be able to afford things and will buy more of everything. and voila: the economy is saved. now go do laundry.