Friday Flashback: Shelley Duvall's Faerie Tale Theater

Shelley Duvall hosts this star-studded series that ran from 1982-1986. Just look at some of the names that appear in the series:
Mich Jagger, Christopher Reeve, Robin Williams, Susan Sarandon, Vincent Price, Liza Minelli, Anjelica Houston, Billy Crystal, James Earl Jones... and many others.

This series is the epitome of the 80's: synthesized music, terrible effects, and dated clothing. In other words, it's everything I love.

The entire collection includes five seasons of hour long fairy tales. My favorites include Beauty and the Beast, The Little Mermaid, and the Frog Prince. Even though these gems aren't on television anymore, you can watch them for freeeeee online! SCORE.

Good:

• An infinite source of inside jokes. ("You steal my rose... the one I love the most." -Beauty and the Beast)
• Everything that was good in the 80's is now extremely hilarious. When Shelley Duvall gives her hostess speech before each show, her outfits are truly remarkable... bless her heart. The special effects are also wonderfully dated.

Bad:

• Some episodes (The Nightengale in particular--should be renamed The Nightmare) are too slow-paced and boring. Make that extreeeeeeemely boring.

Rating:
3.5 stars (although a select few episodes are indeed 5's... and others 1's)

Relatively New: Alice in Wonderland

Confession: Tim Burton is one of my favorite directors, and Johnny Depp is one of my favorite actors. Call me a wannabe or say I've jumped on the band wagon, but it's true. Interestingly enough, Tim Burton's latest Alice in Wonderland left me unimpressed with both of them. Tim Burton certainly let his creativity show, and Johnny Depp was satisfactory, but it was Helena Bonham Carter who stole the show. She was a brilliant Red Queen.
The story is actually quite different from the book or Disney version; in this version all of the characters in Wonderland are convinced Alice has "returned" to save them from the Red Queen. She must learn how to help them before the Frabjous Day arrives--a day prophesied to bring about the Red Queen's demise.
I saw the film in 3D on opening night with all the creepy emo children and my sister (clarification: my sister is neither emo nor creepy). The 3D was fun, but probably not worth the extra dollars.
Good:

• Helena Bohnam Carter is smashing as the Red Queen. I might even say she is one of my top 10 favorite movie characters. 
• It's preeeetty. Every scene is eye candy. Seeing it in 3D is not necessary at all, but still fun.
• It pays homage to a lot of Lewis Carroll references, including the brilliant poem, "Jabberwocky."

Bad:

• I'm actually not sure if this is a bad thing or a good thing, but I feel as if I would have been lost if I wasn't familiar with the true blue Alice in Wonderland stories of original author Lewis Carroll. If these words sound unfamiliar to you, you might want to read the book before viewing the film: bandersnatch, jabberwocky, jubjub bird, Frabjous Day.
• Overall, I felt that Tim Burton was trying a little too hard. I appreciate his weirdness, but in this film it didn't feel natural.

Rating:
3.5

Random Mid-Week Movie: Raptor Island

It's true that you have not lived until you've seen Raptor Island, and considering that most people haven't seen it... I guess no one has truly lived a full life. Raptor Island is low-budget cinema at its worst (or, if you're like me and enjoy ridiculing the ridiculously terrible filmmakers of the world, it's low-budget cinema at its best).

Raptor Island was released on television in 2004, and I discovered it on Netflix a few months ago. The plot follows a group of  American soldiers who have crash-landed on an island "somewhere in the South China Sea." Little do they know, the island is infested with vicious RAPTORS.

 The script is awful, the actors are talentless, and the dinosaurs look like they walked out of a bad video game; the effects are truly horrible.
Best quote:

Bad guy who betrayed the others (shouting): "I should have killed you when I had the chance!"
'Hot' babe who's actually not hot at all (shouting): "Yeah you shouldv'e... But you didn't!"

spoileralert!spoileralert!spoileralert!spoileralert!
Perhaps what's even better than that quote is the ending. The soldiers are rescued by a helicopter (just in the nick of time, of course), and the last thing seen on screen are the raptors wading in the sea, following the aircraft to fetch back their escaped prey. Thus, Raptor Island 2 is born. No, I'm not even kidding. There is a sequel, and I won't see it. Unless you watch it with me.
Good:

• See this movie for one reason only: to mock it mercilessly. The "special effects" when the soldiers shoot the raptors are especially craptastic. Little blood fireworks burst from the dinosaurs without leaving so much as a scratch.

Bad:

• Everything. Ironically, that's why you should see it.

Rating:
1 star (I give it credit for making me laugh)

final countdown

unveiled:

a new blog.

www.dailycamille.blogspot.com : my new daily book and movie review.

also, vote for my brothers' videos. give them five stars.

• steven
• andrew