and it stinks. quite literally.
today as i was leaving work on the west side of campus, i noticed a familiar, undesirable smell.
THE TREE. the tree that i absolutely abhor has gone into bloom. this tree, despite it's rather adorable appearance, emits the worst odor imaginable.
what is strange, however, is that i seem to be the only one who is bothered by this particularly heinous scent. i have tried pointing it out multiple times to family members and friends, but they never agree to the foulness.
"i smell it," my mom said once. "but it's not that bad."
not that bad? hello. i can't walk past the tree without crinkling my nose and gagging.
there are a plethora of these disgusting trees that line the MTC field/parking lot on 9th east here in good ol' provo. it was there that i first noticed the odious aura. a few springs ago the scent waved over me as i rode my bike underneath their white blossoms. i had to stop to find the source of the terrible smell, and my nose led me straight to the innocent flowers that graced the branches of the trees towering over my head.
today, when i finished my classes and walked into my apartment, i was greeted by a heat wave. the place was so hot that i had to leave. i decided to take a walk up to campus and search for one of the gross timbers. i grabbed my ipod, named lazarus, and snagged my lemon-lime soda out of the fridge. normally i don't drink carbonation. i don't like the bubbles of death. but drew says that soda helps stomach aches, and i have had one for a couple of days. since he is perfect, he brought me the wanna-be sprite.
sipping my pop, i walked up the path on the south end of campus near the clyde building and listened to "shake that" by eminem--my guilty pleasure--on my ipod. i stared down each tree so that i could correctly identify the smelly culprit on the BYU website's tree tour.
eventually i found one, just as my music player had switched from the rapping profanity of eminem to "in a big country" by dashboard confessional.
aha! there it was, sitting innocently in between the widtsoe and eyering science buildings.
later, with help from the tree tour, i correctly identified the tree as an aristocrat pear.
THE HORROR.
for some reason i feel that knowing the proper name of the tree justifies my hatred.
how could a tree emit such a foul scent? i don't know. maybe the problem is not the tree, but my
nose. i might have some mutant olfactory cells in my nasal cavity that don't agree with the tree-smell. perhaps my poor nose just can't tolerate the tree's desire to multiply and replenish (a flower is simply the reproductive organ of a plant. think of that next time you stick your nose in a daisy).whether the problem is my nose or the tree, you will have to find out for yourself. sniff away.
6 comments:
oh you tree sniffer.
I will have to go find this smelly aristocrat pear and experience it for myself.
p.s. stisin
Oh I hate those trees too! They smell so bad! Which is weird, because they're gorgeous...
Guess you can't have everything.
They definitely smell bad. But speaking of daisies, they smell pretty odd too.
You are not alone. I too have big issues with some blossoms. I think they smell a little bit like rotten pee. Ew.
In defense of the trees, I don't think they smelled THAT bad. It's not the most pleasant smell, but my sister's feet smell WAY worse.
I second that last statement. No tree can possibly match the nefarious foot odor.
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