bleeding love

this is the coolest thing ever. this is why REAL vampires are cool. not gaywad sparkly men. *cough*edwardcullen*cough*

grace of god go i

i'm moving.

and i am so excited.

to north carolina.

lauren and i are buying this house

with the sunken treasure we find.


on weekends we'll vacation in new york and walk around until we get picked up by the cash cab.

another one bites the dust

Revolting:

Re*volt"ing\, a. Causing abhorrence mixed with disgust; exciting extreme repugnance; loathsome; twilight.

i have a deep hatred for all things twilight. in fact, i feel justified in my detestation because i read all three books, and as of a few minutes ago, i have seen the movie as well. i have come to know the twilight series for what it truly is: CRAP.

first of all, let me explain why i truly despise that hateful character bella swan. she is immature, an idiot, a drama queen, unrealistic, and in the movie has only two personalities: dull and extremely dull. bella is the worst character in the literary world. even villians in other novels have better qualities. at least voldemort is an aspiring individual (evil aspirations are aspirations nonetheless), the white witch is intelligent, and even hannibal lecter appreciates a cultured lifestyle. but bella is none of these things. in the movie she can't even say a coherent sentence because either the actress is terrible or her stupidity is interfering with her words (i bet it's both). she stutters and babbles waaaay too much.

aside from distasteful bella, stephanie meyers just cannot write. at. all.

each sequential edward book/movie gets exponentially worse and the entire concept is now ruined.

vampires used to be cool. they used to be scary and fascinating. now, thanks to steph meyers, they are glorified, sparkly-diamond boys.

i hear there is going to be a new director for the next twilight film. i plan on sending them the following formal complaint:

dear person who is about to lose their reputation as a filmmaker,

run away from this project. run far, far away.

however, if the current effects of the economy are forcing you to take on this movie in order to provide bread for your family, then i suggest you take the following advice into consideration:

1. let the crouching-tiger-hidden-dragon-style running stay in asian films.

2. get a new actress to freaking replace bella swan.

3. also get a new actor for jacob. i thought he was supposed to be attractive?

4. no more random close-ups of eyes and lips. it's not seductive, meaningful, or classy. it's distracting and lame.

5. include at least ONE scene in which someone is HAPPY.

6. change edward's dialogue so he doesn't sound like a creepy stalker. when he told bella he felt "protective" of her and liked "watching her sleep", his face looked more like he wanted to slice her open and display her body organs in glass jars on a shelf. (at least, that's what i assume a creepy stalker would do to their victim)

7. don't expect me to see it unless i am forced to by brainwashing terrorists who bind me to a chair and use bent paperclips to hold my eyelids open.

love,

camille

hate this and i'll love you

today started off as a good day.

i hummed at work
i read something fascinating
i laughed at a funny blog
i had a good, long talk with an excellent friend

all
was
well

until
about five hours ago.

since then i have been in the worst mood ever. in an effort to get to the bottom of my crankiness, i am going to dissect the events of the day. hopefully then i will discover the source of my sourness.

bad thing #1
i was forced to play settlers of catan.
i hate that game.
call me glee-killer.

even more bad thing #2
my life feels stagnant. until i move to paris this fall, i feel like i have no reason to live.

another bad thing #3
i need to lose ten pounds. i'm trying not to pull the "i'm too fat" card, honestly. but it's getting to the point where i just feel really gross. i need more exercise. richard simmons, come rescue me!

worse thing #4
this was the quote of the day on the imdb website. when i read it, i cried inside and mourned the loss of quality film these days.

East High is a place where teachers encouraged us to break the status quo and define ourselves as we choose.

(troy bolton, high school musical 3)

i will go and watch gone with the wind now to recover from this sorry excuse for a movie.

terrible thing #5
i have no clean clothes.

awful thing #6
now i can't sleep. it is 3 am.

awful-est thing #7
i realized that highly inappropriate things that shouldn't make me laugh actually do.

thing #8
i drove my best friend cuh-razy today because i felt like an emotional roller coaster.

great. i've narrowed it down:
i am a glee-killing, out-of-shape, movie-hating, perverted insomniac who has no clean clothes and is rude to her best friend.

if you are feeling sad after reading this, go here to cheer yourself up.