Random Mid-Week Movie: Raptor Island

It's true that you have not lived until you've seen Raptor Island, and considering that most people haven't seen it... I guess no one has truly lived a full life. Raptor Island is low-budget cinema at its worst (or, if you're like me and enjoy ridiculing the ridiculously terrible filmmakers of the world, it's low-budget cinema at its best).

Raptor Island was released on television in 2004, and I discovered it on Netflix a few months ago. The plot follows a group of  American soldiers who have crash-landed on an island "somewhere in the South China Sea." Little do they know, the island is infested with vicious RAPTORS.

 The script is awful, the actors are talentless, and the dinosaurs look like they walked out of a bad video game; the effects are truly horrible.
Best quote:

Bad guy who betrayed the others (shouting): "I should have killed you when I had the chance!"
'Hot' babe who's actually not hot at all (shouting): "Yeah you shouldv'e... But you didn't!"

spoileralert!spoileralert!spoileralert!spoileralert!
Perhaps what's even better than that quote is the ending. The soldiers are rescued by a helicopter (just in the nick of time, of course), and the last thing seen on screen are the raptors wading in the sea, following the aircraft to fetch back their escaped prey. Thus, Raptor Island 2 is born. No, I'm not even kidding. There is a sequel, and I won't see it. Unless you watch it with me.
Good:

• See this movie for one reason only: to mock it mercilessly. The "special effects" when the soldiers shoot the raptors are especially craptastic. Little blood fireworks burst from the dinosaurs without leaving so much as a scratch.

Bad:

• Everything. Ironically, that's why you should see it.

Rating:
1 star (I give it credit for making me laugh)