another one bites the dust

Revolting:

Re*volt"ing\, a. Causing abhorrence mixed with disgust; exciting extreme repugnance; loathsome; twilight.

i have a deep hatred for all things twilight. in fact, i feel justified in my detestation because i read all three books, and as of a few minutes ago, i have seen the movie as well. i have come to know the twilight series for what it truly is: CRAP.

first of all, let me explain why i truly despise that hateful character bella swan. she is immature, an idiot, a drama queen, unrealistic, and in the movie has only two personalities: dull and extremely dull. bella is the worst character in the literary world. even villians in other novels have better qualities. at least voldemort is an aspiring individual (evil aspirations are aspirations nonetheless), the white witch is intelligent, and even hannibal lecter appreciates a cultured lifestyle. but bella is none of these things. in the movie she can't even say a coherent sentence because either the actress is terrible or her stupidity is interfering with her words (i bet it's both). she stutters and babbles waaaay too much.

aside from distasteful bella, stephanie meyers just cannot write. at. all.

each sequential edward book/movie gets exponentially worse and the entire concept is now ruined.

vampires used to be cool. they used to be scary and fascinating. now, thanks to steph meyers, they are glorified, sparkly-diamond boys.

i hear there is going to be a new director for the next twilight film. i plan on sending them the following formal complaint:

dear person who is about to lose their reputation as a filmmaker,

run away from this project. run far, far away.

however, if the current effects of the economy are forcing you to take on this movie in order to provide bread for your family, then i suggest you take the following advice into consideration:

1. let the crouching-tiger-hidden-dragon-style running stay in asian films.

2. get a new actress to freaking replace bella swan.

3. also get a new actor for jacob. i thought he was supposed to be attractive?

4. no more random close-ups of eyes and lips. it's not seductive, meaningful, or classy. it's distracting and lame.

5. include at least ONE scene in which someone is HAPPY.

6. change edward's dialogue so he doesn't sound like a creepy stalker. when he told bella he felt "protective" of her and liked "watching her sleep", his face looked more like he wanted to slice her open and display her body organs in glass jars on a shelf. (at least, that's what i assume a creepy stalker would do to their victim)

7. don't expect me to see it unless i am forced to by brainwashing terrorists who bind me to a chair and use bent paperclips to hold my eyelids open.

love,

camille